Archive for the ‘Common Sense’ Category

Great article on the BBC mentioning charities that are up in arms about new TV show “in London that encourage viewers to believe they are cured of life-threatening illnesses by prayer”
Apparently they reckon it is dangerous to tell people that prayer has cured their diabetes & cancer.

I may surprise you here. Brilliant. We need more of this. Get them on BBC1 at 7 o’clock on saturday nights. Think of the possibilities that will benefit society!

First, anyone foolish enough to believe this rubbish will of course die. If they are going to put faith healing by a conman on a TV over advice by a doctor, hospitals and science then lets get them out of the gene pool before they pollute it any further.

Next, it helps the NHS! In this time of austerity the NHS is desperately overcrowded and underfunded. Lets encourage the fairy tale followers to not clutter up wards and surgeries, but to rely on Bishop Simon Iheanacho laying on of holy oil, exorcisms and battling the “snakes in the body” and leave the hospitals to the rest of us.

just don’t.
Not because of amazon per se, but because your “express” delivery will be via Yodel (previously Home delivery network, so shit they had to change their name!). Not that this is anything new!

I will share my parcels travels with you, it was purchased on the 15th for a 24hr deliver. So far so good. it made it to stockton overnight. Was put on a van and off it went. We needless to say waited in. To no avail. Didn’t expect much sunday of course, so was relieved to see it made it back on the van Monday, only to go back to the depot again with an attempt at delivery. So a 24 hr delivery sent out for delivery twice and not even attempted. Just taken back, and I’m supposed to wait for a 4th day. Yep, that was going to happen.

the tracking looks like this

15/02/2013 08:58:04 Hatfield UK Arrival Scan
16/02/2013 07:28:00 STOCKTON DEPOT Arrival Scan
16/02/2013 09:25:00 STOCKTON VAN The parcel has been loaded on to the drivers van
16/02/2013 ##:##:## STOCKTON DEPOT The parcel is in the Depot
18/02/2013 09:07:00 STOCKTON VAN The parcel has been loaded on to the drivers van
18/02/2013 15:57:00 STOCKTON DEPOT The parcel is in the Depot
18/02/2013 17:20:00 CUSTOMER The parcel has been delivered

You’ll note it says delivered. that is incorrect. It should say customer was so fucked off at waiting and not even getting a “sorry you were out card” that he tracked you down as they don’t publish depot phone numbers or locations, phoned their head office to check location, and then came down and got it himself. This included the fight with the sour faced care in the community harridan who insisted I needed a card your driver didn’t bother to try and deliver.

So if you are waiting for Yodel to deliver in Teesside my advice is don’t. Go to their depot and kick off. Don’t tolerate shitness. Oh and demand your delivery charge refund from Amazon, who were surprisingly helpful once you find the page where you click and they phone you back. In fact I got the refund before I got the parcel. Speaks volumes for the carrier that does.

Anyway the depot address should you need it
Yodel / Home delivery network
39 Sedgfield Way
Portrack Interchange Business Park
TS18 2SG

I found this number for them 08442480627 if I find a better one I will update.

As for Amazon, to get them to phone you back for a late item
go to
select item you are having problems with, and the type of issue. Then select “call us” – don’t panic you don’t have to. You then enter your phone number and they call you back immediately, although expect to hold on whilst an operator picks up their end.

Hope you have an easier time than I did. Got there in the end though.

So it’s all kicked off. Dodgy Dave says he want’s to stay in but you can have a say, Red Ed reckons we can produce more turnips with our euro partners and it’s all so confusing if we allow a vote. Stroppy Nigel is laughing away like someone who’s farted in a lift and legged it, and to be honest does anyone really care about Nick?

What next?

The commentators and political class seem to assume referendum = out vote. Not convinced my self. But I stick to certain principles (see I do have some)

First up, no-one born after 1957 has ever been allowed to have a say on European membership. The last vote in 1975 was for an economic community. Not a political federalisation. That is wrong.

A referendum may give short term instability, but in the long term…
An out vote takes away an excuse for all our woes. We can at least have more control over the UK.
An in vote gives the government an actual mandate for negotiating and taking a fuller part in the EU.

Not having a referendum will ensure the matter continues to be endlessly talked about, questioned and the feeling of undemocratic imposition by faceless bureaucrats continues.

In short referendum good whatever the outcome. So lets get it over and done with.

Not to fall into the national stereotype or anything at this time of national crisis (well, minor snowfall I’ll grant you), but I quite like weather stuff. I find it interesting, just as well really as I have worked as a weatherman. (An awesome one naturally)

So in a break from the traditional moaning, I though I would share some stuff on the net that may interest you

First up. Weather charts. Not the stuff you get on the TV but proper ones, The UK Met Office charts are best, but curiously the best place to see them is not on their site! MetBrief has a full set, regularly updated.

If you fancy watching an animation of the current precipitation then the last couple of hours of radar imagery can be viewed here

Mucking about on the water? Then the inshore waters FX (forecast!) is here

Fantastic satellite imagery is available via Dundee Uni receiving station (needs free registration) – hint: you want the latest images from the Meteosat SEVIRI Also worth looking at the gallery of spectacular images

Want to know what it’s going to do and when? Probably the most accurate FX are the terminal airfield forecasts (TAFs) for aviation. You can look up your local one here and then once you’ve confused yourself, figure out the codes here

Some good detailed forecasts can be found at the Met Office and BBC as expected, but another good source is here at the weather underground

Or maybe we should bring back the Live TV version…

Whatever you end up doing, have fun and stay safe!

Do you have the freedom to restrict others freedoms?

That in essence is the case before the Human rights courts. Can religion be grounds to insist or refuse on behaviour in the workplace.

It is unfortunate that they seem to have swept up several cases into one as they are very different. But I think boil down to this. Are you free to give offence or can you stop someone offending you?

First up is the wearing of crosses or religious symbols. Work places prevent them on the grounds it may offend someone. As long as it doesn’t interfere with your work or constitute a hazard, and breaks no laws what’s the real problem? If someone wants to be offended by the sight of them – Vampires for instance – then they should of course free to do so.

By the same token refusing to carry out work because the customer offends you. For example Islington Council registrar Ms Ladele who refused to conduct same-sex civil partnership ceremonies. She is free to believe what she likes but not to be employed by all the taxpayers but to refuse to carry out work for those that personally offend her. Fine, be offended, and do the work you are paid for. You do not have the right to make the world fit your views. She does of course have the freedom to leave and seek other employment.

Of course in a court of law if any of the applicants can supply evidence that their particular brand of fairy tale nonsense is actually true then the courts should listen. But I guess we’re not expecting any breakthroughs there are we?

Bloody hell. Sense prevailed.
The court took my advice on each and every case!

Snow 70
So the weather forecasters predict…the horror!.. a couple of inches of snow. Cue panic buying, torrents of news articles, even the predictable complaints about government funding or the lack thereof to snow related activities.

It’s snow. It happens in winter. Despite the outpourings of anguish over “how will we cope?” I distinctly remember it happening before.

It does amply illustrate how we have become so detached from the world about us that an inch or two of snow can cause such panic. We scream like toddlers if something does not happen the way we want it to. We cram our homes full of iPods, giant flat screen TVs and the latest yearly offering from the DFS january sale and yet people cannot spend a couple of quid on a bag of flour, some yeast, and some candles just in case, and then time to learn how to fend for themselves.

Perhaps it is this fear of quiet that drives it. The creeping question of what to do when there is no-one to entertain you at the flick of a switch. That you might have to actually engage conscious thought.

I hope we have not gone too far yet. I love snow. I love the bright white happy monochromed world that greets you as you wake up before the sunrises and realise work will be a mere intermission today as you spend every spare second acting like child. Not the screaming brat who demands his TV program but the one who throws snowballs, makes a snowman and sees just how far his 4×4 will get up the hills before he chickens out…

Don’t listen to the news, snow is nothing to fear. It’s healthy for routine to get a kick up it’s stuffy arse occasionally. Enjoy it while you can!

Ring in the new!

Ring in the new!

Happy New Year! Wishing all my readers a prosperous and peaceful new year.

As a new circuit of the blazing fusion reactor begins and we hurtle through the infinite Stygian void I will share some wisdom for you to ponder.

I think I have cracked the secret for world peace and harmony.

It is a three fold answer to global brotherhood, a trinity of universal humanity. What is this elusive trinity you wonder?

Aircon, beer and bacon sandwiches.

Before you scoff and shake your head in derision. Seriously consider. Name any trouble spot in the world, go on any one. Now tell me, is it in a hot place? is the local drink of preference something other than beer? and are they prohibited bacon sandwiches?

I bet the answer to at least one of those questions is yes.

So there you have it. World peace, achievable and in our time. Our Creedo shall be

Avoid the heat for it makes man angry and shouty, slake his thirst with the golden liquid of the hop, and fill his hunger with the sauce laden sandwich of the pig. Then you shall have peace and brotherhood.

Particular beer, bacon type and sauce I leave entirely to your taste. I’m off to do my bit for world peace, so crank up the grill, spank the bottom of that sauce bottle and drink up those brews.

Here comes 2013… Do your bit!

So out with the old and in with 2013!

How was 2012 for you? A year filled with Olympics, corruption, continued revolution. Hopefully for you dear discerning reader it was a good one. I hope you and those you care about prospered and had fun.

So what of 2013? will like Harold Camping and all the fans of the Mayan Calendar will everyone’s predictions come to nought?

My guess is this special blue marble will pinball from one calamity to the next as usual, but to join in with the spirit of the thing here’s some predictions of my own…

We will find out MPs have found new and interesting ways to pocket even more of our money (easy one up first!), and that councils have joined in by squirrelling away cash into reserves during a recession whilst trying to raise taxes.

Footballers will continue to be overpaid ponces whose tax avoidance schemes require super computers to understand yet are curiously ignored. England will do well at rugby again!

Buggered. It will be sacrificed on the altar of “energy security”. Humans will continue to over-populate and infest the planet without any visible self control.

UK Forces reduced to a home guard as the army and navy are stripped of all meaningful capability in order to justify the RAF

The one ray of light. We will invent stuff. Computers will get faster, the internet will become even more all pervasive as it’s tendrils slide into every crevice. To fill them with pictures of humourous cats. There will be claims of cheap and safe energy that are always 5-10 years away.

Films will continue to disappoint with rehashes and reruns. Music generally a miasma of the bland, No Sherlock until 2014.

Will still fail to provide proof. Will continue to be filled with hate, secrecy and despicable acts. Religion will still scream for preferential treatment and act like a spoilt child every time it is challenged or pointed out just how ridiculous it actually is.

So there you have it. On the whole a bit bleak really, not much to look forward to I admit. To sum it all up. More of the same.

Hopefully we are wrong and there will be something magnificent, like the Ayatollah discovering atheism, or Aliens rocking up and picking the Falklands as their first point of contact. We can but hope.

Anyway, off like many others to spend a pleasant evening with friends killing brain cells and disturbing the peace with airborne explosions… have a great evening and here’s to a fun 2013!

The Daily Fail has a campaign to keep the kiddies safe from all the porn and paedos that lurk on the internet…

As everyone knows when a child goes online a light flashes at paedo central and they are bombarded by grooming requests every 5 secs*. As a result only a massive censoring campaign will stop a legion of Jimmy Savilles literally leaping through the computer screen the moment your back is turned**

To this end they’ve managed to scare a statement out of the PM, a man so full of concern for kids he lets his go free range in his local pub.

Let me reiterate the key points: with our new system, every parent will be prompted to protect their child online. If they don’t make choices, protection will be automatically on. No other Government has taken such radical steps before. And once all this is in place, Britain will have the most robust internet child protection measures of any country in the world – bar none.

To get all this underway, I have appointed Claire Perry MP to be my adviser on preventing the sexualisation and commercialisation of childhood.
Claire is a passionate campaigner for internet safety and mother of three. Her job will be to see this through, to get internet companies on board, to do what it takes to protect children and young people online.

So, basically companies should be forced to filter the internet by default.

Here’s an outrageous idea. How about parents should be responsible for their kids?

Would you let your child talk to strangers on the street without keeping an eye on them? Then why do parents abdicate responsibility for kids online? Would you let them talk to strange people on the phone in the bedroom late at night without supervision? then why let them skype or chat with them?

Of course it makes no odds. Kids know far more about computers than their parents anyway. Any teenager worth his salt can circumvent copy protection that Record companies spend billions on producing, you think a net filter designed to be simple enough for parents to use and set to off the moment it interferes with watching strictly-come-x-pap-idol online will be a problem? Who do they think sets up most of the computer gear in houses?

*like most Daily Fail facts this is bullshit
**Possibly. If you believe newspapers.