The alien battle fleet is entering the solar system as we speak. Like all good B-movie flicks (there can be little doubt now these were a product of infiltrated alien propaganda to make us ignore the signs of our impending conquest and abduction as either slaves to the galactic conquistadors or pacification and domestication as a food stuff for the human-scoffing Armageddon-mongers) Our leaders and experts have sat by and done nothing to heed the alarming warnings of global apocalypse as prophesised by mega-boffin Stephen Hawkings, and we now appear doomed to reap the results of our scepticism and ignorance

Already they have turned our own technology against us, using the Voyager 2 probe in a final ironic insult before wiping us from what is soon to be their planet. They have corrupted its peaceful humane mission into that of a twisted xeno-signal emitter broadcasting their fiendishly encrypted call-to-arms back at the Earth, no doubt already activating their human-like sleeper agents to begin their sabotage missions in advance of the mother ships arrival in orbit and our imminent extinction.

The activities of this advance guard have been documented cryptically in the internet based info hub The Register. It’s thinly veiled intel reports for members of the Neo-Luddite Resistance Army list the invaders other attempts to subvert our technology for their own nefarious ends.

A few of us may live to carry on the resistance, in this dark hour we can only hope that ultimately humanity will prevail. Although in the cold logic of science and the hard maths of reason, having seen some of the x-factor should we be allowed to?

The vital work by Uber-brain Hawkings and alien visionary Prof Hausdorf may just have bought us the time we need to prepare and arm ourselves for the looming inter-galactic conflict.

Good Luck, and watch the skies…

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